i've got a call..

hmmm.. for those who know JJ, he just called me a few minutes ago. haha. caller id says 'unknown' number, so i thought it was some of my friends who use private number, instead i got a shocked! rahh.

it has been like more than 2 years since we ended, although its shorter than the time we were together, it didnt feel the same for me at all, and im glad im feeling this way now. if not, i think i should be killed by many people around me. lol. i didnt really know what to say, he did the questioning mainly. i just answered, said thousand times of 'okay', 'hmm', 'ya' within that 4 minutes. i dunno why but i just didnt really feel like talking to him, i felt like i have nothing to say to him, nothing to ask him even though i dont know anything about his life now. i dont even know to speak to him in english or mandarin. haha!

i must say i grew stronger after the relationship and its a phase of my life i NEVER EVER

wanna go back again.

something from him but its also something t19 played with, threw around and tortured for 2 years! haha.

i blog about this cuz i only tell few people about my blog, especially those who are close to me, so i doubt he will read this.. or maybe.. somehow.. he will?? LOL.

owell.. we gain, we lose (weight? lol), we take things for granted, we get what we want, we dont get what we want, we regret, we learn, blahhhh. i am thinking.. life's like that, it's funny.

Beautiful Seed by Corrinne May :)

finally got the album just now! so happy! it just feels so good to listen to her.. people, go get her album and support local artiste! its worth the money i guess. the following are from her blog, http://www.corrinnemay.blogspot.com/

1) Love Song For #1
I love observing nature. I love looking up at the stars, or the clouds and trees, knowing that the God who created all this beauty also created me. This is a song of gratitude and love.

2) Shelter
Friends support and help each other through difficult times. This song is about friendship.It is a song to a friend to tell her that I will be here for her through the difficulty she is going through. All she has to do is call me and I will help her in whatever way I can.

3) On The Side Of Me
This is a song about the power of love. No matter how unloveable I think I am, there is someone who loves me a lot. Loves me despite all my faults, my failures, despite my bad habits. I think it’s wonderful to be loved for who I am, no matter what.

4) Five Loaves and Two Fishes
This song is based on my favourite bible story. The story is about how Jesus made a miracle happen by taking five loaves and two fishes offered by a little boy, and using that to feed 5000 people.I think it’s an amazing story about how, no matter how small we may think about what we have to offer, we should trust that our offerings, our gifts are never wasted. Our gifts and our talents should be treasured for they can be used in many beautiful ways.

5) Beautiful Seed
I think people often forget how the smallest, most seemingly insignificant things can have such beautiful possibilities. All it takes is one person to make a difference in this world. People like Mother Teresa, Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. testify to this fact. But often, we are so afraid to try, to speak up, or to make a difference.I named the album and the song ‘Beautiful Seed’ because I think that a seed is a wonderful metaphor for our lives. We are all like seeds. Seeds grow unseen in the soil and then sprout, and some seed become the biggest, most majestic trees and others grow to eventually bear wonderful fruit, and yet others, grow to provide shade. We are like trees. When we are in our mother’s womb, no one can see us growing, but we are there. And all the potential for our lives is present in that moment, small as we are at that point in our lives, we are who we are now because of what we’ve gone through. And just knowing that, makes me sad to read about the increasing numbers of abortions that occur. People have forgotten that all the potential for life comes from something small, seemingly insignificant, seemingly lifeless.Recently, I read about how scientists managed to grow a date palm plant from a 2000 year old seed. How amazing.

6) Leaving
Bad habits are hard to break. But sometimes, the best thing to do is to find a new way of doing things, to leave the things that are not good for us. This song is about making the decision to start anew, to do things right, to leave the bad situations behind.

7) Scars (Stronger For Life)
Scars form whenever we hurt ourselves, if we have an injury to our bodies, our bodies respond by healing, and often, forming scar tissues over the wounds. The scar tissue is usually thicker and stronger than our normal skin. In our lives, we often encounter events, or situations with people that hurt us, for eg, a lot of us have gone through the painful feeling of a break-up with a girlfriend or boyfriend, or the loss of a loved one, or the pain of being ill. I believe that when we go through the sad and painful events in our lives, we eventually heal, and we become stronger as a result of the challenges we experience.

8) City of Angels
I’ve lived in Los Angeles for 8 years and it’s always struck me as a very interesting city.It is a city of contradictions, a city of opposites, a lot of glitz and glamour juxtaposed with poverty and grit. It is a city in a desert, and in many ways, the desert is often not just a physical, geographical reality. I feel that the desert, has a deeper, metaphorical meaning in this city. People are often thirsty, hungry for love. Of course, this is a reality everywhere in the world, but it feels more intense here in Los Angeles.So I thought I’d pour my thoughts into a song.

9) My Little Nephew
The first time I held my nephew in my arms was a wonderful moment of realization that I am now an aunty to my brother’s son. Children change so fast as they grow and my nephew lives in Singapore, as does the rest of my family. I on the other hand, live far away in Los Angeles and despite my wanting to be able to see him change and grow, and to be around for family gatherings such as his birthday, it’s hard to only see him now and then, whenever I go back to Singapore. I sat down at the piano one day, and wrote a song for him.

10) Slow Down
It’s hard to watch my grandparents getting older, and walking a little slower as the years go by. I thought about how life starts off with kids, teenagers and young adults rushing around with the exuberance of youth, and how, as we get older, we all slow down.I also thought about how sometimes, working adults run around so much, focused on careers, on all the things in life that seem so important, that they lose sight of the really important things in life, things like time with the family, for instance.

11) Green-Eyed Monster
The term ‘Green-Eyed Monster’ is used to describe someone who is jealous about somebody else’s success.I think most of us have been through an occasion where we find ourselves comparing our own achievements with those of our peers. Sometimes, in comparing ourselves with others, we end up feeling bitter and resentful, and that is not the way that we should be feeling. I wanted to write a song to tell myself that there is no use in comparing myself to others. I have my own story to tell. I have my own path to walk. No one else can walk the path I am meant to walk. So I should not compare my own life with others. It is a waste of energy and time. So I decided to write a song about this.

12) On My Way
I’ve travelled a lot over the past few years, to Singapore, Chicago, San Francisco, Washington, Maine, Philadelphia, etc. as I’m often going to various cities to perform my music. Most of the time, I’m on the road by myself, driving to various venues. Sometimes I get lost, sometimes, I get into traffic jams…I think that life is like being on a journey. We have a final destination to get to. We’re all travelers on this road of life. I think that life is like a winding road where it’s hard sometimes to figure out where the road is going to go, and sometimes it’s easy to get lost and confused. ‘On My Way’ is a song of hope and encouragement, that no matter how far the journey is, every little step that we take, brings us closer to our final destination, and as long as we keep on walking that journey, we will get where we need to be eventually.

13) 33
When I turned 33 last year, I thought to myself, that Jesus was 33 when he lived his last year on earth. I thought that it was pretty amazing that I was now the same age as him. So somehow, that made me wonder how it would have been if I had lived during the time of Jesus. Would our paths have crossed? Would we have been friends?It also got me thinking that some lives are so short, just like Jesus’ was, and some lives are much longer. But ultimately it doesn’t matter how short or long someone’s life was; what matters is that life is lived to the fullest, no matter how much time you are given to live.

14) Shelter (Cherry Blossom Edition)
Even though I listen to mostly English pop music, as a child I often listened to the Chinese pop melodies that my grandmother would play on the radio, and my father would teach me some Asian folk songs. I was inspired to write a Asian-styled piano arrangement to ‘Shelter’ after listening to Kavin’s string arrangement for the song. Lately, I’ve been experimenting more with pentatonic keys and modes and so, I decided to try an Asian-styled arrangement on the piano. I loved it very much, so we decided to include it in the album because it adds a different, more dramatic feel to the song.


when you read the lyrcis, you cant help but to realize that the songs are relevant to everyone's life. like how i hate to see my parents and grandparents grow old, how people forget about family. yet i think its really true that you wont cherish something unless you know you are losing it. how some things made me upset but i know i will grow stronger each time i overcome them, and its because of all these, all the things that i went through made me who i am today. how my friends are always there for me when i needed them, having to take all the emo shit from me.. i will not pull through as fast without them AT ALL. corrinne may's previous album also accompanied me through a stupid break up 2 years back. hurhur.

haha boring post but i dont care. i like the fact that although many of corrinne may's songs are christian songs, it doesnt scare me away or anything.

SHETLER

What's wrong, what's getting you down
Is it something I might have said?
You're walking around with your head to the ground and your eyes are watery red
I know you've been through tough times

Kicked around, thrown to the ground but you've always been the strong one

So don't tell me that nobody gets you 'cause I'm standing in your corner

Knocking at your door

You don't have to be alone

Just call my name

Let me be an answer'cause it hurts me to see you this way

I wanna ease your pain
Help me understand

Let me be your shelter my friend

We share a bond

You and I we belong

We're like coffee and morning trains

You strip my defenses

I catch your pretenses
The same blood runs through our veins
I swore I'd be your lifeline

Made a vow that I'd surround you with love at every milestone

I'll listen when nobody gets you

I'm still standing in your corner

Waiting by your door
You don't have to be alone

Just call my name

Let me be an answer 'cause it hurts me to see you this way

Ohhh...I wanna ease your pain

Help me understand

Let me be your shelter my friend

It was not too long ago

You sought to understand

You helped me mend

Remember when

So promise me you'll...

Call my name

Let me be an answer'cause it hurts me to see you this way

Ohhh...I wanna ease your pain

Help me understand

Let me be your shelter my friend

sometimes i cant help but to think im self-centered..

Lacoste Day!!

Started out with KTV! everyone came other than alison who is having fun with ang mohs! ok something i must say.. the guys and girls were wearing matching colors other than tzeyeong. damn cool right. muaha. :)


we couldnt help but to laugh at how ugly the mtv leads were. the english songs hardly have thier own mtvs. hurhur. and its damn funny how the guys couldnt make it when the song goes to high. kenneth had to pass the mic to tzeyeong who can sing better, but even then, he was struggling la! i rmb he was grabbing me while trying to hit the note. damn funny. good job good job. at least you tried. haha.


we kill time when others are singing! haha. we get retarded. lol. anyway collage credit to kenneth, kope from your blog, thanks ah. lah wasnt happy about getting only one spastic shot. so he zhi pai quite a few himself, seeing him from opposite was damn funny cuz he was trying hard to adjust his mouth,his tongue and all to get the 'right' shot. lol. he really looked spastic i couldnt stop laughing.




Dinner was at some HK cafe at cine (again). damn. one year ago we waited for 45mins for our po lo pao which never came. we really didnt know where to eat i guess. jialin had hair in her noodles this time. eeeeee. tell me why did we go there again. hurhur.


he couldnt just wait for 2 hours more?




NEO PRINTS! i love taking neo prints. damn fun! hahaha. fun posing and fun when we dont understand a single word of japanese. so we go by feelings. haha. this machine we took with must be used with japanese yen, cool eh. and when we finished taking the photos, i was excited to decorate it while some of them were excited abt the infare red thingy- they could transfer photos through that for free! so.. we hurried out and i sat down with the pen in my hand. waited for like 1/2 a min, nothing happened to the screen...... the meiling found out it was at the other side of the machine!!! omg. and time was ticking away. all 7 of us rush to the other side and deco the stuff. haha. damn cock. and somehow the infare red couldnt work, they only recieve some weird thing instead. lol.




damn nice right! haha. of cuz must take some with our own camera. i always do that and they always make us look nicer. still rmb when i took with byrant and the rest, we keep pressing the timer button non stop. haha. cheap thrill.



next up..........

it was a wednesday... sooo.... MAMBOOOOOOOOO!!! hohoohohohoho. crazy night.


oops kenneth you were too slow! anyway i think this is only sober photo we have in zouk.

it was a crazy night. we were all quite high and i was quite drunk. i never get so drunk like that before in club before i think.. the last time i was in this state or worse was in US, the usual 310 drinking session, i was sitting by the toilet bowl to puke for quite some time. lol. no more puking!! haha. anyway i couldnt rmb what exactly happened, how we go from zouk to phuture and all, when did we first met cass, blah..

it all started out with just one bottle of heineken (wheres budweiser!!!), then terence bought long island tea. we thought he got four jugs, we almost died and started to tell each other not to forget oursleves and each other. lol. luckily he just got 2. then we started to play guessing game. we played all the way from phuture to zouk cuz we got chased away by the waiter like twice cuz we were using the reserved table. anyway.. i kept losing. there was one point i lost around 6, 7 times in a row? i couldnt believe it and i think thats why i was in that state. haha

anyway.. if you read kenneths blog.. the girls didnt start biting the guys!! kao. or at least i didnt. so maybe jialin or lah started it, but im sure it wasnt me. lol. though i was half awake i could remember clearly cuz kenneth bit me REAL hard first.

i dont remember taking all these photos. memory during that night was very vague, only could rmb certain events. i rmb i was sqeezing to get out of damn phuture when buttons was being played!!

thats the ugliest photo w/o me being ugly i can find. maybe its not that ugly anyway. hurhur. remove those 2 ugly photos from your blog! dont make me release the classic damn ugly photo of yours....


so thats how i ended wednesday.. left at like 3? quite early but anway i had my fair share of fun and craze. at least i dont have to think about essay and bloody testss for the whole day. anyway cheers to lacoste, for our crazy times and our slightly more than one year of friendship. many lubs! :)

Sheares Hall's Dnd

mr president. stop saying im fat and throw me to any tanned/black guy who walks pass us can!

the other MUN, but she is man man lai, laimun. haha.


ernnie with her british dress!

when u get too bored with the 7 course meal.. :( no or ni!

Elvis Yang. and i wasnt a bumble bee la! i was damn retro can.



candy won miss sheares!! wee! together with Kaiyuan, who won the other 2 prizes, Mr goodskin and mr personality. 3 C-towners won lucky draw too! haha. but not me! hurhur.




Little, who is opposite of Many. hurhur ok lame shit we made up in the toilet when seemun herself didnt know we were talking about her. lol.

the freshie girls at my table! :)

SHE ROCKS!!! lol. Sheares Hall Economics. lol. w/o Nana!! haha. i call ourselves SHEPians, cuz Sheares Hall Economic People. but its not recognised by the rest cuz they think its sounds very unpleasant. hur.

haha! they were too retro la.


BENg.. i want our seaworld blk C photo!!!

fat yong and skinny yong. iyooo look at his pointed comb. how old school is that.

minghui in her school uniform look alike. lol

fellow cjcian in blk c, val. :)


haha. overall its quite fun la.. other than the MC which the whole world complains about. fun loooking at how people dress up. those who really dress up are usually not following the retro theme. some guys from blk A dressed like 881. damn scary to see them come out of male toilet! haha. after dnd ended, we were seriously deciding where to go.. some wanna go back hall( huh, hall???), some zouk, some no idea.. i wanted to go somewhere but not hall. hahaha. so after much deciding and time wasting.. some of us finally went to cafe iguanna. ordered about 6 jugs of magaritta there. it is quite cheap i think.. cheaper than if i were to go zouk on a saturday. hurhur. then when i got back hall, some of us went to minghui's room and talkkkkkkkk until 8am. interesting.. lol. know quite alot of things about some issues happening and some people. lol. ok wasted time blogging. back to solow model and economic growth now.. HURHURHUR. i wanna playyyyyyy!!!!!!!!

Buaya Week

for those who still dont know whats buaya week, its just a week in hall when we have a buayee, someone for us to do sweet and loving things to, and a buaya who will do those in return. but we wouldnt know who's our buaya until the last day.. lol. it was quite fun i must say. the process of helping the others, them helping me and all. it made me interact with the others which is good more me since i came in hall late. :) i didnt spend alot of time doing things for my buayee cuz .. some of you should know, not nice to blog la. haha. whereas alot of them spend sooo much time folding hearts, cranes, cutting endless papers and most imptly, spend hell lots of time doing for someone not your boyfriend/girlfriend. haha.

Door tag from my buaya, nicknamed Hai Lang. lol. damn funny.

the first thing he made for me.. i like it alot, simple and nice.. with a damn cheesy note me and my neighbour couldnt stop laughing.

he turned my room into a garden.. lol. i really got a shocked. haha.

some lame shit i did for my buayee. behind the words are just pictures of him wearing swimming trunks and swimming. hai.. just my luck la. hurhur. luckily my buaya is good, hes last years buaya king.

something damn coincidental is that we both got each other windchimes for buaya week closing. damn cool right. this year my buaya Kaiyuan had 2 buayas! rah.. and hes in pageant.. so i think thats why hes not so strong this year. lol. owell, better than nothing. at least he made me feel better about my buayee.... hurhurhurhurhurhr.

what my buayee, lawrence gave me for buaya closing.

and what i did for him. rahhhh waste my money. period.

i haven got the photo i took with Kaiyuan during buaya closing night. so this is what we took during DnD.

sunday morning

its sunday morning 8am,
im in hall..
going to sleep now after a night of chilling and chatting and mac's breakfast in lounge.
one essay and four mid terms waiting for me.
hai.
shall waste my studying time and update on Buaya Week and Dnd that just ended 9 hours ago soon..
nights nights!

i am in SINGAPORE

currently having my hall Buaya Week.. shall blog on what happened and what i feel about Buaya Week after its officially over tomorrow. lol. im blogging now partly cuz ms clarrisa ho complained that i never blog about Singapore life, and apparently some evil son of mine still thinks that i am in US when he met me a few weeks ago.

this week is the last week of mid term, then comes one week break. after break i have 4 mid terms which im totally not prepared yet. hopefully i will be able to study hard everyday allll the way until my last test. hurhur. jiayou!

anyway life in Sheares Hall is not too bad.. somehow i think its better than KR. or at least my block in KR. and time just passes so fast everyday, everynight without doing anything. i think its cuz you walk around, talk to people, people walk pass, come in talk to you blah.. by the time u sit and have your own time its like 1, 2 am. and half a sem just passed like that. im back for one month just like that. iyooo. hall just makes time go faster. gonna join one comm.. thinking of 2 but i think thats totally insane for me. i wanna join cuz i wanna have fun, experience, learn some stuff and make friends, i dont care about points. but that also means more time in hall, which is a big nono for me. owell.. shall just stick to one comm i guess.

last weekend was busy but good cuz i met up with 19!
went to geylang to have a eating spree..
1st stop was 126 dimsum place. not too bad but we had 8 of us, so serving was too small esp when t19 are mainly big eaters. i like the chee cheong fan with shrimp inside, or rather everyone liked that.




2nd stop was the soya bean curd place. vigky ordered the soya bean curd, we had quite a hard time trying to figure out what he wants cuz he doesnt really know whats that called and he cant speak chinese. so whatever he describe to us we will translate in mandarin to the auntie, and translate back to english for him. anyway that was the first time i tried the salty bean curd. da 1st thing i said was 'ya, really salty.' lol. still prefer the sweet one.



3rd stop was DURIAN!! weeeeee! finally la! hahahhahaha. how shiooooook. we ordered those 3 for $10 ones, and it wasnt too bad! edible, quite sweet and quite alot of them. cheap and good. clar brought us to the one she says her hall always go cuz its da cheapest among all stores.



lastly.. we went to blackie's place. to chill and celebrate tini's birthday. happy birthday tini!!! many loves!




we played with anything we could at his place. check the phone out!! i couldnt stop laughing cuz when i first saw that i was still thinking wah, theres a drink there but no one is drinking. only found out when we gotta call tai. haha. cool stuff.

we also discussed about our overseas trip this year end. wanted to go taiwan.. but prob change it to club med malaysia/bintan now, it sounds like its a cool good deal! hopefully everything turns out well. i just need the money i guess.. owell, it will be fun with my dearest 19s for sure! :)

played Josh's card game which i dont know the name, somthing which has got to do with gold digger and forgot whats the other one called. ok, i realize this sentence is dumb cuz i basically cant rmb anything regarding the game. its just fun and i have never seen it before. hehe.

its been 4 years and im still very glad i met this bunch of crazy people. when i wanna play, study, cry, complain, talk, chill,be emo, be retarded, blahhhh blahhhh, i can say at least one of them will be there for me, and be retarded with me. i will never be who i am today without 19, really.. many loves you many many more!! oya, 19 also saw me grOWW literally. :/
sunday was our family's friend, Timmy's wedding dinner. finally a wedding!! after donkey years! so im quite happy to go although its just a small scale one. dessert is 'orh ni' la! that good enough man, mamamia! lol. was talking to bro, i told him i used to want a grand wedding dinner.. but come to think of it, its troublesome, time consuming and freaking expensive. i rather use the money to travel, go Maldives (wah), Europe or some exotic places. unless my husband and i got alot of money to spare.. if not a small cosy one with the important people will do good i guess. next wedding is like 2 weeks later, our childhood neighbor, used to play with her when i was a kid. everyone is getting married. yeah! cant wait for my closer people to get married, it will be fun!